Man when Shonda Rhimes gets it right she really gets it right. In tonight's episode of Grey's Anatomy after George's dad dies Christina goes to meet him outside. Even though they have not been speaking, even though there are people closer to him and he appeared to want to be alone, Christina went. And she said something like this, "There's a club. A Dead Dad's club. And you don't get to be in it until you're in it. Sure you might sympathize and feel sorry for someone but until you feel that loss you really can't know how it feels. George, I'm really sorry that you are part of the club." If you didn't see the show she then admits that her own father died when she was 9. His reply is that he doesn't know how to exist in a world where his father doesn't. And she says something like , "Yeah...that never goes away."
I have said most of those words myself. When my mother died I thought of all the people before me without parents and thought, man this is one group I don't want to be a part of...Cindy Hall, John Link, Kim MacDowell. I didn't want to be in that club! And when people lost their parents after me and I would go to the services they inevitably say "It sucks" or something like it. And my response is always the same. "I know. I know it sucks. I just wish you didn't have to know." I said it to Kim Hanjack and my cousin Nate. Probably to Kim and/or Johnny Clark. My friend Heather. Because I know when their parents died they thought of me and said "Man, Suzie Tetro. That is a club I didn't want to be in." And now they know. They know exactly what I felt. They're part of the club. And it never goes away.
I am a mom to three children: Paige (9 1/2), Joshua (4 1/2) and Ally (3). I live in the house where I grew up only this time as the parent. I juggle work and parenting, keeping up the house and trying to be a good friend and family member. Sounds easier than it is!
About Me
- Suzie
- I am 38 years old (ugh), married, with three children: two daughters (3 and 9 1/2) and a son (4 1/2). My kids are my life but I do have to work. I love dark chocolate and iced tea, pedicures, sarcasm, traditions, living in New England and traveling with family and friends.
2 comments:
That episode had me in tears. I am very fortunate to not be in that club, but my heart goes out to everyone in it. I don't know from my own pain, but I've seen it in the people I care about around me, you and Sally, my husband. I am truly sorry all of you have to be in this club. There will never be words to change any of it, but know that people around you care tremendously and those that have been lost are never out of our thoughts.
Well said Suz. And it seems to be happening more and more to people I know. Its not that were all getting older and thats just what happens, because the parents are still dying young. When I was in the hospital, our friends Kevin and Alexa came out to see the baby. And we got talking about our moms and I said "How very sad it is, that all 4 of us in this room have lost a parent. 3 of us lost our moms and Kevin lost his dad. Then there is Crystal, and Dennis (Jens husband) and a slew of people I know that are sick. Its pretty damn scarey. I always say "I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but it doesnt. It never goes away". Like you said "it just sucks".
Post a Comment