The Club

Man when Shonda Rhimes gets it right she really gets it right. In tonight's episode of Grey's Anatomy after George's dad dies Christina goes to meet him outside. Even though they have not been speaking, even though there are people closer to him and he appeared to want to be alone, Christina went. And she said something like this, "There's a club. A Dead Dad's club. And you don't get to be in it until you're in it. Sure you might sympathize and feel sorry for someone but until you feel that loss you really can't know how it feels. George, I'm really sorry that you are part of the club." If you didn't see the show she then admits that her own father died when she was 9. His reply is that he doesn't know how to exist in a world where his father doesn't. And she says something like , "Yeah...that never goes away."

I have said most of those words myself. When my mother died I thought of all the people before me without parents and thought, man this is one group I don't want to be a part of...Cindy Hall, John Link, Kim MacDowell. I didn't want to be in that club! And when people lost their parents after me and I would go to the services they inevitably say "It sucks" or something like it. And my response is always the same. "I know. I know it sucks. I just wish you didn't have to know." I said it to Kim Hanjack and my cousin Nate. Probably to Kim and/or Johnny Clark. My friend Heather. Because I know when their parents died they thought of me and said "Man, Suzie Tetro. That is a club I didn't want to be in." And now they know. They know exactly what I felt. They're part of the club. And it never goes away.

Welcome Ryan Jay!

My new adorable nephew was born this morning at 1:37 am! He's 8lbs 15 oz and 20 inches. Very sweet and snuggly! Congrats to Sally, who was a trooper through it all. And to new Dad, Steve and new big brother Zachary! Can't wait to spend more time with him.

Birds Nests

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

~Angel, Sarah McLachlan