Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Birds Nests

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

~Angel, Sarah McLachlan

4 comments:

Sally said...

I still cant listen to that song. I really cant believe so much time has passed. It still sucks.

Suzie said...

It will always suck. I can't listen to that song yet somehow when I hear it come on I feel like I am now stuck. Like it caught me and I have to listen to it. One night before she died we were driving home from visiting her and the song came on. That was when I realized she was going to die. I was crying so hard I had to pull the car over to the side of the road near Pasco's. I think about that night everytime I hear the song.

I'm really having a hard time with it this year. Other years its obviously hard but this year is hitting me harder than normal. Not sure why. When I dropped Ally off at daycare just now she cried when I tried to put her down in the highchair. And then I started crying and felt I had to tell Jennie why (she knew mom had died but tell her it had been 8 years.) Ally was crying for her mommy and I was crying for my mommy. I couldn't leave her if I had the chance to make it better since I know I'd just like one more hug too. I scooped her back up and then Jennie took her from me so she wouldn't feel so alone when I left.

Its going to be a rough day and week. Please Sally, try not to have the baby today.

Susan said...

I'm sure I've told you this before, but that song was playing when we were driving in the car to the cemetary.

EVERY time I hear that song I think of your Mom.

I am floored that it has been 8 years.

I don't even know what else to say, I will be thinking of all of you today.

What a wonderful thing that Sally will have the baby in January, to have a happy memory to celebrate in this month that at times I'm sure for both of you is unbearable.

Sally said...

As desperate as I am for this baby to come, if he tries to look for the light today, Im going to have to push him back in. At least until 12:01 am January 5th! But not to worry, nothings happening anyway.