Thursday, June 12, 2008
When is it my turn?
Chris is away again. I just counted...I've been alone with the kids 60 days since January 2007. Sixty days!! Except for going to Vegas and the trip to my father's last fall, its always me cleaning up the cat vomit (which is how my day started) and dealing with the demands of the miniature dictators I live with: "I want more juice!" "I am not going to school today!" "I don't like dinner!" "I am not tired, I don't want to go to bed." "I am too tired, I don't want to get up." Or dealing with fun situations like this morning when I had to take Ally's baby away from her (they can't bring toys to daycare except for on Fridays). With tears streaming down her face, her little brown eyes pleading with me, she says "But mommy, I NEED her!" She has become very attached to this baby, not even putting it down long enough for me to get her dressed. I have to wrench it from her grip just to put that arm through her clothes. She even puts her in the empty chair at the table so the baby can eat dinner too. I understand they have things they are doing and they don't need kids fighting over personal toys but somehow, a 2 year old's "woobie" seems harmless to me. I seriously never want to be a single parent, although I feel like I'm getting good practice.
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2 comments:
I feel for ya! While Dennis doesn't go away nearly as much, it's still hard when he's not here. I don't know it's just me, but dinner time is excruciating when it's just me. Like tonight, because he decided to take a motorcycle ride after work. I WAS a single parent (of one). Two is so much harder, I can imagine what you are going through with 3!
If you get totally stressed, give me a call, I'll do what I can to help!
And really, there are "no toys from home" rules for 2 year olds? Poor Ally!
Dinner time is excruciating when alone. You hit the nail on the head with that one. But for me it's different reasons. Joshua refuses to eat pretty much every food there is. Which can really push my buttons. So most of the time I try to not let it bother me, just accept it and move on. No sense getting into a battle of wills with an obstanate 3 year old. But Ally doesn't eat much. So really I'd be cooking for Paige and myself. And I would rather eat something easy than go through the trouble. So ultimately it's just for Paige. And I can't see doing something I am not good at nor do I really like just for one person. I don't do a good job, I never know what to make, mostly because it will be refused by potentially half the people eating. And then I have to clean it all up after 5 minutes. All that work and stress and then it's done in 10 minutes. And while I'm cooking and cleaning it they are destroying the house and fighting and just generally getting in trouble. I would rather make scrambled eggs and be done with it.
I know other people have it harder than my 2-6 day stints. I really hand it to you and Sally and Chris' sister who have had to go it alone. I don't know how you did it. Even my cousin had to be a single parent while her husband was deployed in the 1st Gulf War. I don't think I have the stamina to do it all the time. The hardest part for me is the constancy. I'm always "on" and it's all up tome. I didn't get to finish my work because I had to stop and pick up the kids from daycare. But I know with dinner, clean up, tubbies and bed time I'm not going to get a chance to get back to it until at least 9pm. And by then I don't want to. I just want to sit and relax. Just the idea of me getting to relax is hilarious! There is no downtime. Sure I'm in the house alone during the day but I'm working, doing the dishes, taking care of the freak dog. There is no childcare to do, but that doesn't mean I'm eating bon bons. No help and no other adult to talk to is what wears me out. And when they finally go to bed I run around doing chores that haven't been finished until really late when I plop into bed exhausted and wake up again for Groundhog Day.
They are sweet and cute and I love them to pieces. And I do know I will miss their cute "youngness" when they get older. I don't think I miss Paige being little because I get my snuggle fix from the others. But I know when this time is over I will look back fondly and miss it. But seriously, I am so ready for life to be a little easier and not so much of a constant daily struggle for survival of my sanity.
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