One Week Left

I can't believe it but I only have one week left to my maternity leave. And I really have mixed feelings. On the one had I am glad to be able to get back to "normal" life where I'll be showering and productive every day. And I'm glad that Joshua will have some structure and he'll be forced to grow up a little and deal with other people and take bottles. But I'm so scared to leave him with someone who doesn't love him with all their heart. Sure his Auntie will be there and she loves him but it's not the same as his mama and Auntie Mary takes care of toddlers not the infants. I am excited about being able to eat all by myself uninterrupted and go to the bathroom without having to find entertainment for everyone in the house first. And it will be good to have money again especially since much more time at home and things would get pretty scary financially, going beyond eating a lot of pasta to getting threatening phone calls. So that will be good to avoid! So I guess when I lay it all out logically being able to afford the house, cars and food while still leaving my child with a loving caretaker is pretty much as good as it can get for me. I will never be someone who can just stay home all the time (unless we win the lottery). And that's fine. I knew that from the beginning. It's just hard when someone else gets to spend 8 hours a day with my beautiful baby and I have to go back to dealing with idiots. Of course they're new idiots because I have a new job. Well..this can go on forever. But the bottom line is I have to go back and although there will be perks I'm still pretty bummed but I'm going to make the best of it because there isn't any other option right now. Now let's just hope I don't cry all day when I drop him off for the first time!